Michael Deschenes
Michael Deschenes
Michael Deschenes is the governor of Thule and the senior Marine commanding officer of the 12th Miliary District. Because the primary planet of the Thuleat System is an ice world locked in perpetual winter, the 12th (first Brigade and later Division) is known as the Chosen Frozen and use a stylized snowflake as a unit shoulder patch.
He and William Whitefeather are comrades-in-arms, meeting as roommates at Canada's Royal Military College in Kingston, and then being assigned as infantry officers together to the Royal 22e Régiment (The Van Doos). They share a penchant for practical jokes creative tactics, especially when training Canadian Army militia units. These tactics put the "practical" in Practical Joke, on the theory that a lesson that makes you laugh will stick with you longer than a dry lecture.
They have become so notorious that among the senior officers of the Canadian Army they are known by the stunts they have pulled instead of their name and rank. The officers' names are never mentioned at the same time. For example, when an officer is inquiring about one by name, it's always "No, the other one. You know, '(name of incident)'?"
Not much is said of the details of the incidents, allowing the reader's imagination free reign to speculate. And nobody discusses "The Tree" in the presence of the Colonel commanding the Rocky Mountain Rangers (not even the Chief of the Defense Staff, the highest ranking officer in all the Canadian Armed Forces).
Deschenes is known by the following "creative tactics" (this list is not comprehensive!):
- Banana in the Exhaust Pipe
- Fort Henry Guard Mascot
- CL-415 Manoeuvre
- "The Tree"
- Immersion Heaters
- Colonel's Daughter
- Flour Bombs
When picked up, Deschenes was married to Penny, who became his first concubine (and who has taken a Vow of Nudity, to his delight), and a dependent-aged daughter, Diana.
He has a unique talent that drives the Chosen Frozen Confederacy Marine officers mildly nuts: whenever you call him "the Old Man" (a nickname he despises), he happens to be right behind you.
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